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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

MINDSTATION'S ELEVEN: Episode 1- Shrine of the Kuo-Toa

Posted by The Evil Emperor Mindstation @ 7/06/2005 10:39:00 PM




No time to elaborate, but due to a certain amount of insolence in the comments of my last post, a4g is out as leader of the team. I have assumed command. a4g's spot will be filled by Subway spokesman Jared Fogle.


Jared Fogle
Occupation: Subway Spokesman
Specialty: Subs
Pros: Always carries a spare pair of XXL pants.
Cons: All ideas involve the New Fresh Toasted Subs from Subway.

Many readers have e-mailed me asking when our great work of satire will be completed. But events far more important have pulled us from our task.

Yesterday, a sea lion attacked a lifeguard in Santa Barbara, CA. Seen as an isolated event, no cause for concern. But my subtle mental powers realized this was only one in a series of incidents where the benign creatures of the deep have turned against their surface dwelling masters.

Clearly, malevolent forces were at work.

It was Koko's wild and frantic hand motions that identified the only nefarious villain capable of perpetrating such a heinous act: My arch-enemy, Dr. Oceanus.

The dreaded Kuo-Toa, evil minions of Dr. Oceanus.
Professor Hawking was generous enough to supply us with the background data necessary to fight off Dr. Oceanus' hordes of Kuo-Toa minions. These horrid creatures would be fearsome enough even without their Armor Class of 4.

I have emailed Tom Clancy to make the necessary plans for our attack on Dr. Oceanus' underwater fortress. I have confidence that, although he has not yet responded to any of my previous communications, he will provide us with a plan bordering on pure genius.

In order to give the newest member of Mindstation's Eleven some much-needed field experience, I have sent Jared to procure our underwater transports to Dr. Oceanus' stronghold due to his specialty in submarines.

We will be leaving shortly on this most dangerous mission. I hope that in the event that I do not return, Point Five will be able to continue without my masterful talents.

- The Evil Emperor Mindstation, P.Z.I.C.


****************


UPDATE: I am posting from the high seas. I have emailed Tom Clancy with the rendezvous point. I am confident that he will arrive in time with the battle plans.



In a few hours Mindstation's Eleven will be locked in mortal combat with these evil denizens of the deep



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UPDATE 2: I'm back safely in the Palace of Ultimate Evil. All the members of Mindstation's Eleven would like to extend our sincere gratitude to Patriot Xeno and Citizen Grim for rescuing us from prison block 13C of the nightmare fortress of Dr. Oceanus.






4 Comments:


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 7/06/2005 10:41:00 PM, Anonymous its_called_reality_so_deal ...
I thought Haley Joel Osment was your arch-enemy.
 
At 7/06/2005 10:42:00 PM, Blogger The Evil Emperor Mindstation ...
Foolish maggot!

Haley Joel Osment is my arch-nemesis. Dr. Oceanus is my arch-enemy.
 
At 7/07/2005 07:09:00 PM, Blogger Patriot Xeno ...
You can count on us.
 
At 7/09/2005 01:56:00 PM, Blogger UNIONIST ...
I think a4g needs a union steward for a4g has more seniority then Mindstation.

Dear a4g,
I have a grievance form ready to be fill out. If I were you I would not take this for Management. Even if he rules the world.

Workers unite
 

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