Sensenbrenner Stops Meeting, Democrats Near Death

Chairman of The House Judiciary Committee, Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-Wis) walked out of a committee meeting examining the Patriot Act on Friday, as Democrats veered debate into an angry discussion of Gitmo detainees.

Democrats were irate at Sensenbrenner's decision to end the meeting early and called it "a Republican abuse of legitimately gained power". Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) was reportedly "cut off in midsentence" by Sensenbrenner.

But the Democrats' attempt to turn the meeting into political hay backfired. Sensenbrenner left without adjourning the meeting to a close, and, in fact, took the gavel with him, leaving Democrats powerless to end the meeting.

Now, for the fourth straight day, Democrats have been unable to leave the conference room or stop talking. Thirsty and hungry, a feeding tube was inserted into the quickly failing, yet still yammering, Rep. Nadler late Sunday.

A candlelight vigil is currently being held outside the building by Democrat supporters, who are demanding that Sensenbrenner come back and end the meeting. Reports indicate, however, that the vigil has turned into a Woodstock-like orgy and much of the focus has been lost.

But in an ironic turn of irony, Nadler's only source of nutrients will be removed today, following a ruling by Florida Family Court Judge George Greer, who issued a writ of execution for Nadler, citing the perceived brain-dead condition of the national Democrats, and the undue pain and suffering caused by being a member of a dying party. No case was pending before Judge Greer, but he generously offered his services pro bono.


- The Evil Emperor Mindstation, P.Z.I.C.

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