NASA to Blow Up Comet "Just Because"
Posted by The Evil Emperor Mindstation @ 6/27/2005 04:33:00 PM
NASA scientists announced today plans to explode the comet Tempel 1. After admitting that obliterating the comet would serve no scientific purpose, NASA scientist John Berry explained, "You have to understand, we scientists have been working tirelessly for the benefit of mankind for the last 400 years. We all agreed it was time for a break. So we've decided to take a year off from science, and use some of our equipment for some projects we've really been itching to try. We thought it would be cool to see a comet blow up."
Dr. Berry also revealed that the recent failed launch of a solar sail spacecraft was purposely caused by scientists. "You know we thought, Hey, we're taking a year off anyway, why put an expensive spacecraft into orbit that no one is going to be around to operate or monitor? So instead we filled the launch vehicle with high explosives and an old Pac-Man machine that Dr. Fenester had in his garage."
He noted that preliminary data indicates that the resulting explosion of the Russian-made rocket was 63.2% "awesome" and 36.8% "gnarly".
White House officials have assured that day-to-day life for most of the public will be unaffected by the absence of the scientists, as the "near-unanimous scientific consensus on global warming" is not scheduled to be overturned by "stunning new evidence" until late 2008.
-The Evil Emperor Mindstation, P.Z.I.C.
Welcome readers from the Carnival of the Vanities. If you were moderately amused by this post, we invite you to be moderately amused by other things we have to offer.
Linked on Mudville Gazette, Outside The Beltway, Basil's Blog.