Reid Offers Support: Sen. Menendez, Cardinal Mahony, Darth Vader

In the wake of Senator Harry Reid's seeming support for Sen. Menendez amid allegations of relations with underaged prostitutes, the aging Sentor has come out in support of other close friends of his, including recently demoted LA Cardinal Mahony, and even the Sith Lord Darth Vader.

“First of all, Anakin Skywalker is my friend. He’s an outstanding Jedi Knight. Any questions in this regard, direct to him. I don’t know anything about it,” Reid said in response to reporters concerns over Skywalker's links to the destruction of Alderaan.

Reid subsequently declined to answer further questions regarding his self described friends, John Edwards, John Wayne Gacy, Secret Service Director Mike Sullivan, the evil wizard Gargamel, Jim Jones, 'those kids that are always trying to steal his lucky charms', John Hinckley Jr., and the dark lord Sauron.

Critics of Sen. Reid have called on the Nevada politician to public denounce his associates, but the centenarian Senator has rebuffed most criticism, pointing to inciting events such as the hording of smurf-berries, or the 'lack of love' from Jodie Foster.

Though generally refusing to answer most questions, Reid did observe that many of the crimes his friend Cardinal Mahony is accused of covering up were not as serious as they were made out to be. "As my friend OJ Simpson says, sometimes you need to 'get a little physical'" Reid commented before being taken by aides to have his diapers changed.

Sen. Reid is a Democratic senator from Nevada.

-The Evil Emperor Mindstation, P.Z.I.C.