LAPD: More Shootings of Innocents Until Dorner Surrenders

The LAPD, in a statement released yesterday, promised Christopher Dorner, ex-cop gone on rogue killing spree, that no one else would be hurt if he surrendered himself peaceably

"You can do the right thing Mr. Dorner, we have already harmed 3 innocent bystanders.  You know we will not stop 'eliminating suspects' until we find you." LAPD chief of police Charlie Beck said, actually doing air-quotes with his hands, and winking to reporters.

The LAPD's unconventional manhunting tactics of 'eliminating suspects' has been widely reported on, as a massive manhunt is underway in the greater Los Angeles area and surrounding counties.

Artist's conception of Dorner with an airplane.

News reports of Dorner being trained as a pilot has also come to the attention of the LAPD.



"The LAPD keeps a small stockpile of Surface-to-Air missiles for cases like this," Beck said. "We have police stations very near LAX and we are prepared to begin 'eliminating suspect aircraft'."

Dorner is a former police officer who has gone on a murder spree, targeting LAPD officers and their families, after alleging widespread corruptions and incompetence in the LAPD.

-The Evil Emperor Mindstation, P.Z.I.C.