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Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Cheerleading Bill Prohibits Suggestive Moves without Safety Pole

Posted by The Evil Emperor Mindstation @ 5/04/2005 07:50:00 PM

The controversial bill that passed in the Texas House will soon be introduced in the state Senate. "This really isn't about legislating morality, this is about ensuring the safety of those girls," bill sponsor Rep. Al Edwards, D-Houston said. "I was at a football game and I was shocked to see the suggestive moves and sexuality of these otherwise fine young women, without so much as a safety pole for the girls to swing around on."

The bill provides for, among other things, that proper safety provisions are adhered to at all sporting events.
  • Safety poles, like the ones provided in fine gentleman's clubs across America, must be installed so as to avoid falling-related injuries.
  • Provocative moves for their own sake are prohibited. Sexually suggestive cheers must be incorporated into an artistic story, like "Breaking the Chains of Dominance!"
  • Skirts, because of the dangers of entanglement, must be removed either prior or during performances
  • Two of the cheerleaders must kiss. No one knows exactly why, but apparently some representatives think this is a good idea.
Others, however, are calling the bill a half measure.Rep. Paul C. Moreno, D-El Paso said "Mr. Edwards is only going half the distance. We need the cheerleaders to perform closer to the audience, practically right in their laps."

He also added that he was in favor of upping the required amount of kissing.


UPDATE: Frank J has his own take on this issue.
Thanks to the Beltway Traffic Jam and Mudville Gazette.
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At 5/05/2005 08:53:00 AM, Anonymous Buckley F. Williams ...
Let's just make sure those poles stay clean. They can get so dirty sometimes. Dirty and naughty and... umm... I better go...

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