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Monday, June 06, 2005

Rest Stop Blogging

Posted by The Evil Emperor Mindstation @ 6/06/2005 11:00:00 AM

(To follow the Emperor's trip from the beginning, click here.)

Monday Afternoon

So far the journey has been rather difficult.

There has been some kind of catastrophic failure in The Global Communications Satellite of Ultimate Evil, so I will have to blog from whatever WiFi connections I can find along the way.

Luckily, it looks like there will be quite a few stops, as the Greyhound's toilet is hopelessly clogged. I was amusing myself, by flushing a few Korans to break the joyless trip, but evidently the travel-sized toilet on a Greyhound is not quite up to the capacity of those I have installed at The Palace of Ultimate Evil. Suffice to say, we have since been stopping every fifteen minutes, as the Imperial Bladder is rather delicate and finely tuned.

Many have remarked on the vast spaces and awe-inspiring beauty of this great nation, its vistas and majestic open lands peerless in the world. Many songs and paintings have immortalized its subtle artistry.


More desert

Even more desert

Each of these paeans fail to appreciate the mindnumbing boredom of staring out a Greyhound window at this dreadful, dull country, with no one to entertain my ear but the horrible droning blather of that blasted Stephen Hawking.

Luckily I haven't heard from him lately. I believe he may have wandered away from the bus when we were refueling somewhere in Nevada.

Good riddance, as I have always found him an insolent and tiresome bore.

Zzyzx road, which we found quite amusing. The only highlight of an otherwise miserable trip.

As can be expected, there have been some grumblings from the other passengers, most related to the toilet situation and the frequent stops. I have taken it upon myself to impose martial law aboard the bus. So far, there have been only two executions necessary, and we were forced to leave three people to the desert and the mercy and judgement of Almighty God (five, if you count the babies). But they have provided an excellent example to the others.

I will not tolerate back talk.

-The Evil Emperor Mindstation, P.Z.I.C.

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