Hundreds Sick Over Drudge Headline

Medical authorities are urging Americans not to imagine the Drudge headline

Medical personnel across America are scrambling resources to combat a deadly outbreak of illness after The Drudge Report (a leading blog) posted a headline today that claimed "Helen Thomas Rides White House Press Secretary".

Reported symptoms have included nausea, vomiting, uncontrollable diarrhea and abdominal spasms, epilectic seizures and self-destructive behavior, most notably the gouging out of the eyes. Although the symptoms seem to subside after horse tranquilizers are given, doctors have reported two more serious cases with patients in critical condition after searching on Google Images for 'Helen Thomas Rides Press Sec'. Officials from the CDC requested Google disable the results of that search and it is believed no further serious cases will result.


UPDATE:

Pres. Bush will address the nation tonight along with Secretaries Rice and Rumsfeld to urge calm in the face of this medical crisis. Above all Bush will urge that no one imagine Thomas riding McClellan.

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