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Monday, May 30, 2005

Doctors' Appeal For Ban On Knives Spurs Legislation

Posted by The Evil Emperor Mindstation @ 5/30/2005 10:03:00 PM

A research team from the West Middlesex University Hospital called for a ban on long, pointed knives, citing a rise in knife violence. A spokesman for the group stated, "Most kitchen knives are sharp, some are even pointy. We as a people are not safe until all sharp, pointy knives are removed from society."

The group has suggested that citizens should use scissors for cutting food. Then, realizing that they had already called for a ban on scissors, called for the ban of all food that needs to be cut.

The recent activity has even drawn international attention. Ralph Nader has joined the doctors and called knives "unsafe at any point".

But some politicians have called the ban only a half-measure, saying, "we also need a ban on all long and pointy objects that are a threat to ourselves and our children." Point Five has obtained exclusive access to stricter legislation that would prohibit an even greater class of objects:

Don't let his sweet innocent act fool you. Imagine a bobby questioning him about that disturbance last night at Pleasure Island. Two seconds later, there's a little wooden nose shooting through the heart of one of London's finest.

Can you imagine the carnage if a toddler got a hold of one of these?

The first tower's long and pointy design is
doubly terrifying because it has an evil twin.

Bill Whittle's posts: always pointy, and very, very long.

Dick Cheney.

Linked on the Beltway Traffic Jam, Mudville Gazette.


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 5/31/2005 09:36:00 AM, Blogger Dymphna ...
If we have to get rid of pointy things that can do damage, why not rip out everyone's fingernails?

Better yet, let's cut off all hands at the wrist...no one can pick up a weapon...
At 5/31/2005 10:30:00 AM, Blogger a4g ...
Wouldn't help.

Everybody knows any real American can operate a MARK 3-A2 Automatic with a pinky toe.

I'm thinking more and more that people are really just getting in the way of the socialist dream. Must think of some Final Solution...

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