Chechen Claims Liability For Power Outage, Putin Hospitalized For Laughing His Ass Off

Could drifting beard hairs be the actual cause of the outage?

Vladimir Putin, known for his dictatorial rule and cruel punishments, now awaits news of his missing ass.

Moscow police combed the Kremlin today in a continuing search for Russian Premier Vladimir Putin's missing ass. After hearing of Chechen warlord Shamil Basayev's claim to the recent power outage in Moscow, Putin literally laughed his ass off. He was rushed to a nearby hospital where he is listed in stable condition. Moscow authorities have not found any clues as to where Putin's missing ass may be, but police assure the public that they will get to the bottom of it.

Basayev's claim is also said to have caused King Fahd of Saudi Arabia's hospitalization and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's recent injuries. A spokesmen for Zarqawi said, "Yes, yes, we hate the evil decadent West and all that they stand for-- but even the most hardened terrorist can't say he believes Basayev and keep a straight face. I mean look at the guy."

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