EU Warns Iran Against Nuclear Materials, 'Aggressive Surrender' Threatened

EU officials threatened Iran today against producing nuclear materials. The threat comes after reports that Iran may already be producing nuclear material that could be used to make nuclear or EMP weapons. The EU says that if their demands are not met it "would bring the negotiating process to an end." A top ranking EU diplomat suggested that the EU may have to use one their most highly developed weapon systems, Economic Sanctions.

However, Point Five's exclusive sources within the EU have spelled out a secret strategy being developed that may present an even more terrifying scenario. Dubbed 'Aggressive Surrender', the policy will provide for 'a massive, concerted, instantaneous, and unconditional surrender of all member states of the EU to the Iranian government in a concentrated beam of cowardice'.

The plan, as detailed by Talvitie Heikki, EU councilmember, then anticipates that Iran, confronted with a territory too large for it to control, will be forced to allow waves of European bureaucrats access to its government. This bureaucrat rapid response team will rapidly consolidate power within the Iranian government, and saturate the mullahs with a 'shock and awe' paperwork bombardment. The highly underdeveloped Iranian government, lacking the suave sophistication of the Europeans, will collapse from bankruptcy within months.

Alternately, the Beta Option allows that Iran succeeds in assimilating all of Europe, which becomes a Islamofascist state. As our source explains, 'Better sooner than later.'



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