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Friday, May 13, 2005

EU Warns Iran Against Nuclear Materials, 'Aggressive Surrender' Threatened

Posted by The Evil Emperor Mindstation @ 5/13/2005 07:02:00 AM

EU officials threatened Iran today against producing nuclear materials. The threat comes after reports that Iran may already be producing nuclear material that could be used to make nuclear or EMP weapons. The EU says that if their demands are not met it "would bring the negotiating process to an end." A top ranking EU diplomat suggested that the EU may have to use one their most highly developed weapon systems, Economic Sanctions.

However, Point Five's exclusive sources within the EU have spelled out a secret strategy being developed that may present an even more terrifying scenario. Dubbed 'Aggressive Surrender', the policy will provide for 'a massive, concerted, instantaneous, and unconditional surrender of all member states of the EU to the Iranian government in a concentrated beam of cowardice'.

The plan, as detailed by Talvitie Heikki, EU councilmember, then anticipates that Iran, confronted with a territory too large for it to control, will be forced to allow waves of European bureaucrats access to its government. This bureaucrat rapid response team will rapidly consolidate power within the Iranian government, and saturate the mullahs with a 'shock and awe' paperwork bombardment. The highly underdeveloped Iranian government, lacking the suave sophistication of the Europeans, will collapse from bankruptcy within months.

Alternately, the Beta Option allows that Iran succeeds in assimilating all of Europe, which becomes a Islamofascist state. As our source explains, 'Better sooner than later.'

Iran's Nuke Strategy Revealed, and Countered

Thanks to Mudville Gazette.


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At 5/13/2005 04:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous ...
Ed R- over from Poli pundit. Howdy

Ed R-
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At 5/17/2005 04:34:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous ...
I thought that only France had a “Capitulation policy or Cowardice policy”. Does this mean that we can not travel to European any more? Is American’s 51st state England still part of the EU, I thought that with Tony “the only other person in the last 60 years since Lady Margaret Thatcher to get re-elected three times” Blair, he finally give up on the EU and start acting like our 51st state.
At 5/17/2005 04:54:00 PM, Blogger a4g ...
You make good points, anonymous (if that is your real name), but you make a fundamental, yet all too common mistake in thinking that only France has a capitulation policy.

While it is true that the truly groundbreaking work in cowardice was pioneered in France (what was then Gaul) over 2000 years ago, and while it is still true that most of the best research and thinking in cowardice is still coming out of France, do not discount the very real contributions made by other European countries. I think a special note of praise would have to go Belgium, creators of 'Inviolable Belgian Neutrality'; Italy, 'If we don't ask for liberty, can we have an extra hour off?'; and Poland, 'we're a proud and noble people, but could you please just stop with the beatings?'

The beauty of the European Union's Constitution, is that all countries in its sphere of influence will now be able to drink deep from the well of French duplicitiousness, without any fear at all of corrupt French politicians engineering a backstabbing. Nope. No chance of it.

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