German unemployment rate soars to new heights in February

In an completely unexpected turn of events, unemployment reached an all time high in Germany. The massive number of unemployed has been attributed to the slow growth of the Germany economy; 1% growth predicted in 2005. This has prompted many German lawmakers to push for a nationwide ban on slow economic growth and unemployment.

"It just isn't fair!" Frederick Von Hegel, a German legislator, said on Saturday. "American imperialism is hurting Germany. The instability in the Middle East is spilling over into Europe... The [instability] has leapfrogged over Turkey, Hungary and Austria, straight into Germany".

Qazi Mohammad, a Berlin Imam, said to reporters "[The] Zionist Israelis are starting their war against the Most Blessed Prophet, they are trying to subvert Islam's cowardly infidel slave Germany". The EU has refused official comment but has hinted at high level American involvement.

Could this be the work of Karl Rove?