Radicals Launch Second Set of London Attacks
Posted by a4g @ 7/21/2005 10:53:00 AM
Four bombings shook London today, In an eerie repeat of the 7/7 attacks, three subways and one bus were hit. Fortunately, the bombs did not take any lives, and the manhunt is on for the bombers.
Terrorism experts are in wide agreement that today's attack was an exploratory strike, meant to gauge the anger level of western countries in the face of ongoing terrorism.
"When the coalition forces went into Afghanistan after the 9/11 attacks, American anger level was at about 7% Pissed Off on the Johnson Scale." The Johnson Scale is a widely used indictator of Western vengeance levels.
With the attacks of 7/21, it is believed the level may be raised to 8% Pissed Off.
"Al Qaeda appears to have adopted a strategy similar to that dumbs**t friend you had in fifth grade, who thought it was really funny to tease the neighbor's Rottweiler by poking it with a stick."
America has not gone above 23% Pissed Off in modern history, which was reached when America dropped two nuclear bombs on Japanese civilians to prove an important point about starting a war with the greatest nation that has ever existed.
The only time America ever reached 100% Pissed Off was in a time completely lost to history, over 523 million years ago, when the Original America got pissed off at some particularly irritating trilobytes. The resulting retaliation is widely known as "The Precambrian Mass Extinction", and was responsible for the elimination of 90% of all life on Earth.
So keep it coming, Al Qaeda "Masterminds."
You may think you are detonating bombs, but you are really only lighting a very slow fuse.