NY Times Demands Miller Be Transferred to Gitmo

As Judith Miller begins her second week in a Virginia jail, NY Times Executive Editor Bill Keller said Monday that "the food has not agreed with her and we have been trying to impress on her that she needs to eat. We have been hammering that in."

He is joining an angry chorus of supporters who are demanding that Miller be transferred to the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, where her delicate temperament will be better served.

"Judith is especially partial to Baked Tandouri Chicken Breast, Mustard-Dill Baked Fish, Lyonnaise Rice, and Fish Amandine. The grey-green slop offered in Virginia just doesn't compare."

Also concerning her supporters is the hip-hop and rap music videos normally played on the prison television. "Judith would much prefer the individual video screens offered at Gitmo."

As a reporter for the NY Times, Keller believes Miller is "uniquely suited" to being classified as an "unlawful enemy combatant," which would qualify her for a trip to the Cuban detention facility.

"We believe that Judith would quickly learn the techniques of spitting, feces-throwing and holy-book desecration that is common among prisoners at Gitmo. You only need to look as far as her writing to see that."

As to being splashed with urine through an air vent, Miller said, "Judith never brings her personal life to the office."