Starbucks Hails Supreme Court Decision

In a 5-4 decision handed down today, the Supreme Court sided with local governments that wish to use eminent domain rights to facilitate urban planning projects. While many conservative and libertarian pundits are outraged, James L Donald, CEO of Starbucks, Inc. is overjoyed.

All the friendly atmosphere of home-- your home-- is coming to your neighborhood Starbucks.

"This was really the last impediment to a market segment where we had not been able to affect significant penetration." The segment, tract housing, has been deprived of Starbuck's delicious brand of custom-brewed java because of antiquated zoning regulations and draconian master planned communities. Now, however, Donald sees a Starbucks literally on every corner, with local governments enjoying the tax revenues that every $17.50 cup of coffee delivers.


To kick off the promotional campaign for "Home Brewed" Starbucks, the company will be hiring America's own hyper-caffeinated princess, Jennifer Wilbanks, to be their new spokeswoman.

I'd like another Venti please, no whip, skim, mocha.

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