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Friday, June 03, 2005

Sen Kennedy Invokes "Extraordinary Circumstances" On Way To Cleaners

Posted by a4g @ 6/03/2005 06:36:00 AM

Republican lawmakers are expressing outrage today, after Democratic heavy hitter Teddy Kennedy (D, MA) invoked "extraordinary circumstances" today on his way to the dry cleaners near his tony Kalorama, DC mansion. According to the terms of a Senate compromise agreement drafted last week, the invocation confers broad powers of filibuster. It is believed that Sen Kennedy used the power to filibuster a yellow light from turning red, avoiding a three minute wait at the intersection of 25th and I Streets.

Lt. Kap Mallen of the DC police, explained, "It is believed that Sen Kennedy was attempting to review some pending legislation, 'adjust' himself, drink a Tom Collins, eat a mustard dog, and yell at his driver simultaneously, causing a large, mustard yellow stain on the left lapel of his dark blue suit jacket."

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid was quick to defend Senator Kennedy. "With a major fund raising dinner to attend in just under an hour, and notoriously poor bladder control, we support Senator Kennedy in calling 'extraordinary circumstances.' After all, steam cleaning the floor of a Town Car can be very expensive. No one knows that better than Senator Kennedy."

Republican spokesman Ed Gillespie was not so sanguine. "Conservatives have been waiting to see how long it would take to find the 'extraordinary circumstance' that would start the whole filibuster battle all over again. Frankly, I'm not surprised that its coming from Kennedy. He always seems to have some bit of food splattered somewhere on himself. And now we're back to square one, with Bush's nominees stalled all over again."

The Happy Kleen Cleaners, where Senator Kennedy took his soiled jacket, reportedly was able to remove the stain "while Senator Kennedy waited" and returned the garment with "like-new freshness."






Linked at Mudville Gazette and Outside the Beltway, and Wizbang.






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At 6/03/2005 07:18:00 AM, Blogger upline ...
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At 6/03/2005 07:24:00 AM, Blogger a4g ...
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