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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Scientists Say Climate Disaster Narrowly Avoided

Posted by a4g @ 6/22/2005 04:21:00 PM

Scientists with the Global Climatology Conference announced today a stunning revelation that planet Earth recently narrowly avoided a catastrophic "climatology event" that would have led to massive extinction and an end to life as we know it. The event would have made even the most dire 'global warming' predictions seem mild.

The Sun, shown here burning fiercely, looks menacingly upon a unsuspecting Earth
"We have been monitoring daylight levels for several months," said Dr. Petir Drulent, of the Hans Brinkman Climatology Center in Oslo. "As early as yesterday, all the signs were pointing to a classic 'lightening event', where the daylight hours on Earth steadily increase until the entire world is sent into a spiral of blinding brightness and rising temperatures. Plants would have been unable to reproduce, birds unable to migrate. Entire ecosystems would have crashed within weeks. We gave human civilization two months, tops."

Dr. Drulent admitted that the causal factor for this phenomenon was not yet fully understood, but the scientific data was unarguable.

Luckily, scientists say that a sudden turnaround occurred; the shift was detected this morning by ultra-sensitive atomic clocks located throughout the northern hemisphere.

"We believe the event peaked on June 21. Our model is incomplete, but we believe there will be a gradual return to more normal daylight levels, and fortunately this disaster will be avoided."

However, Dr. Drulent offered a cautionary note: he warned that if the new trend started this morning did not reverse itself, the possibility of the Earth being plunged into continual darkness, the so-called "Snowball Earth," was not beyond his calculations.


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At 6/22/2005 06:16:00 PM, Blogger mquest ...
That was good.
At 6/23/2005 04:46:00 PM, Anonymous GOD ...
Dear Scientists at the Global Climatology Conf.

Let’s see if you can create all of existence in six days, I gave you the capacity to explicate all of existence without the everlasting damnation thing, and this is how you repay me, maybe I should rethink that damnation thing. If you can not have faith in my creation maybe you should get a real job like the rest of my children. And go to church more often just a remember.


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