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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Praise for Durbin As IL Senator Firms Up Terrorist Vote

Posted by a4g @ 6/16/2005 06:42:00 AM

We ask 'Why do they hate us?' I think America's health care crisis is part of the answer.
Deep within a secret, subterranean planning room, Republican strategists are fuming over the speech given yesterday on the senate floor by Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL). After reading a description by an FBI agent of the conditions of prisoners in the Gitmo detention facility, Durbin concluded:

...you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime--Pol Pot or others--that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners.

In a nation as closely divided as America in 2005, Republicans realize that a swing of just a few thousand votes can turn the fortunes of a party.

"I'll hand it to Durbin," said Chet Brakely, an RNC strategist, "He found an under-represented voting block and seems to have solidified its support for the Democrats."

Brakely explained that the terrorist vote has not often been pandered to in previous elections, but that he fears that Democrat internal polls have discovered a hidden constituancy "right under our noses." He is poring over reports from the INS that show massive numbers of non-Mexicans crossing over the US-Mexico border, and believes that besides suicide belts, these new residents may also be carrying voter registration cards.

Other Republicans are less concerned. "The Dems have had the terrorist vote sewn up for years," said Bob Relas, chairman of the Illinois Republican Committee. "The presidency of Jimmy Carter alone bought them fifty years of goodwill. We don't expect any significant shift in the numbers."

Still, national party leaders have quietly put out the word to the terrorists that the Republicans welcome them too, via Mel Martinez, Chuck Hagel, and Bill Kristol.

Linked on Mudville Gazette.


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 6/16/2005 07:52:00 AM, Anonymous Osama ...
As a terrorist, I'm sick of the Democrats taking our vote for granted. It's hard keeping three wives, sixteen children, and two goats. And even if you do manage to save enough money for the C4, there's always the detonators to buy.

In 2006, I'm giving the Republicans a look. They've certainly been good to us on the border issue.
At 6/16/2005 04:15:00 PM, Anonymous Guards at Gitmo ...
From: Guards at Gitmo

Were can we get Voter registration cards for those unfortunate personal unable to leave Gitmo. I think the Democrats should sue to be able to register those unlucky enough to be called revolutionary.

Guards at Gitmo

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