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Saturday, June 04, 2005

New Koran Outrage: Splashed With Urine

Posted by a4g @ 6/04/2005 07:05:00 AM

The Pentagon has confirmed an infamous "urine splashing" that the Koran recieved at the Gitmo detention center in Cuba. Officials have described the event as "accidental," and the offending guard was reprimanded and given a position away from detainees.

Lt. Gen Biff Clodcrusher describes the incident: "Camp Delta can be a high stress environment. Sometimes the guys like to let loose with a good old fashioned 'sword fight', if you know what I mean. This often involves guards, prisoners, and sometimes even leadership."

On the particular day in question, it is believed that the 'swordfight' became a 'hosefight' when several prisoners challenged guards to a distance and accuracy competition.

A guard, whose name was redacted from the report, explains: "The Koran was already lying there, since we had been using it as third base in the Guards vs. Prisoners softball game earlier in the day. It seemed the natural thing to aim at, seeing as we all agreed that in one way or the other, it was the Koran that had gotten us here in the first place."

The Guanatamo Bay detention facility is home to nearly 600 enemy combatants in the Global War On Terror, known for its brutal living conditions, harsh punishments and sadistic torture. This has made it the focus of international scrutiny, as well as a popular vacation spot for Cubans wishing to escape the thumb of Castro for a weekend.

Point Five has learned that PFC Brian Peterson won the 'hosefight', with a direct hit scored at 2.3 meters, measured tip to cover.

RELATED: Koran Flushing an 'Innocent Mistake'

Get The Real Story:

Just for a laugh, The Real Story links to commentary of those who actually care: Philip Gomes, Brouhaha, Bump in the Beltway. Ah, liberals. Whenever I think we Conservatives are getting a little too hissy, I only have to look left to feel better.

Linked at Mudville Gazette, Wizbang.


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At 6/04/2005 10:18:00 AM, Blogger mquest ...
“Sword fighting”? Good thing the military still has the “don't ask don't tell” policy. We can not afford to lose any more fodder from our military.

On a positive note Donald R can still say with a straight face there is no positive evidence that the Koran was flushed down the toilet. (after it was pissed on).

To bad Newsweek did not have the balls to stand behind their news story.

Perhaps this news will cause a few deadly riots and we can all stand around and blame the liberal media for it.
At 6/04/2005 11:44:00 PM, Anonymous Friends at the DoD ...
To the Overseers at Point Five

Once again SecDef has asked me to write to you about your continuous lapse of security about Defense Department Information. As you know we feel that continuing to release sensitive information to those left-wing, anti-American, anti-democratic cry babying. Will spoil are fun with the War on Terrorist. Just take a moment to think about all the terrorist that will have to answer for their crimes against humanity. If you continue to release information about DoD Operations they will know what’s coming, what is the fun in that? So please be responsible about releasing sensitive information so as to not spoil are fun with all those “non-combatant”.

Your friends at the DoD.
Cc Donald Rumsfeld Sec. of Defense

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