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Friday, June 10, 2005

Govt Announces "Hayat To Hawaii" Program

Posted by a4g @ 6/10/2005 01:05:00 PM

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, the nation's top law enforcement officer, today announced the creation of the "Send a Terrorist to Hawaii" program, designed to stop Islamic extremism within the United States.

"With the arrest of Hamid Hayat and five other men in Lodi, California, on charges colluding with Al Qaeda, we asked ourselves 'Why do they hate us?' They live in our country, they see our wonderful freedoms. How can they want to kill us?"

But after actually visiting Lodi, the Attorney General had a startling revelation: Lodi was a dump. A check of previous terrorist arrests showed a shocking connection: Lodi, CA. Lackawanna, NJ. Detroit, MI.

All places nobody would want to live in.

"It was like the clouds parted and the bright light of realization shone through. We needed to get these terrorists to somewhere nice, like Hawaii, or Santa Barbara, or Key West. After all, cooped up in New Jersey, anybody would go a little crazy."

Osama issues a fatwa: against killin' his buzz!
It occurred to Gonzales he had read reports from Guantanamo detention facility of the cool trade winds and Caribbean lifestyle transforming crazy jihadis into Koran-desecrating fools, surpassing the guards by 3:1 in their disdain for the 'holy' book.

He hopes this same tactic will work on sleeper cells here in the US.

Congress will be considering funding the program in committee next week. The Justice Department is asking for $300 million to fund first class flights, hotel stays, helicopter trips, snorkeling, whale watching, and a "night life stipend" in order to seduce crazed Muslims into a decadent western lifestyle filled with booze, drugs, and hookers.

Get The Real Story:

The Counterterrorism Blog

Pimpin' on Mudville Gazette and Outside the Beltway.


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 6/13/2005 01:30:00 AM, Anonymous Friends at the DOD ...
To the Overseers of Point Five blog:

This could be your finale warning if mid-term election were not coming up? And we need all the friends we can get to help put more Republicans into Congress. So Secretary Rumsfeld is going to let your momentary failure in judgment about your publication of how we are going to deal with Al Qaeda members. We know that Mr. Gonzales is a big fan of your Blog site, so when he gave you this information it was on the QT and not for publication to those malcontents, that we mockingly and sickeningly call the Demarcates. We here at the Defense Department know that you are God fearing, Freedom loving citizens of American will cease the general publication of clandestine information until after the mid-term elections when Congress will be 99.9999999999% Republicans with only Ted “I got away murder” Kennedy left (who we need so we can laugh at!) and we can pass any legislation we want. Also you should know that it only costs one thousand dollars to sent at Al Qaeda member to Hawaii, the extra money is to be used for killing them in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and if there are any in North Korea

Your friends at the DOD

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