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Friday, June 03, 2005

Dean to Dems: Embrace Radical Gay Agenda for Victory

Posted by a4g @ 6/03/2005 01:50:00 PM

Dean, shown here with a leading activist in the gay community, wants to take America "purple."

In a wide ranging, often rambling speech given on Thursday at the Take Back America 2005 conference, DNC head Howard Dean explained to participants that "Red States" weren't technically all red, but rather "purple", and that it was his job to "make sure they got a whole lot more purple in coming elections." This explanation was well received by attendees of the session, who were still confused after the long plane flight to Washington because so much of the country below had seemed to be different shades of brown and green.

Commentors believe this was the first signal of Dean's widely rumored, but ultra-top-secret, new strategy for retaking the White House and both houses of congress by 2008. By taking all states "purple," Dean hopes to tap into the 4-1 Democrat margin in the gay community.

"If we can turn only an additional 15% of the American people gay, we can turn this whole country around," said a spokesman for Dean. "We're calling on Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen, and we're pretty sure Tom Cruise to help us in the cause."

Dean is planning massive parades, celebrations, and "pride-ins" on July 4th to entice otherwise straight Americans into the fold. It is believed the expenditures will deplete the already struggling DNC coffers, but Dean is not worried.

He told Point Five, "A gay America is the only way to straighten America out. I know that doesn't make any sense, but I don't often make sense. Sometimes I just talk to see what will come out. Damn, I enjoy the sound of my own voice. I think I'll roll my sleeves up now, to show how hard-working I am."

Dean is counting on all Americans responding as enthusiastically to hot pants as he himself does.


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At 6/03/2005 07:31:00 PM, Blogger Wave Maker ...
Headline: "Dems Dump Donkey for Tinkey-Winkey"

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