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Sunday, May 15, 2005

Point Five Sunday Roundup

Posted by a4g @ 5/15/2005 06:52:00 AM

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA
Funnyman Dave Chapelle has resurfaced and spoken to Time after abandoning his hit show and a $50 million contract. We at Point Five are following this story very closely, as we believe this is a chilling preview of what we will be facing in a few short years.

PARIS, FRANCE
Researchers have released findings that demonstrate a correllation between abortion and subsequent premature births, leading to a higher rate of death in these later pregnancies. The researchers suspect that as the second babies reach full-term, they are able to decipher the D&C warnings scrawled on the walls of the uterus, and decide to take their chances in a bail-out rather than trust the capricious whim of their mother.

ANDIJAN, UZBEKISTAN
There's lots of shooting and protesting and mayhem in Uzbekistan continuing today, as the Religion of Peace continues its marketing campaign, started in September, 2001, entitled, "Let's make even normal, moderate people throughout the world start to suspect that the only solution to the Muslim problem may end up being a nuclear one."

DECATUR, GEORGIA
Drudge reports that "mass hysteria" broke out at a commencement speech by Hillary Clinton. Drudge doesn't indicate what the reaction was of the audience to this.

FLAGSTAFF, ARIZONA
Groups are criticizing perrenial whipping-boy Wal-Mart for using imagery of Nazi book burning at Berlin's Opernplatz in an ad, saying that the reference "trivializes the Nazis and what they did." Sorry, protestors; anyone who says it's trivial to bring the Nazi's into a discussion of Wal-Mart has never tried to keep track of five kids and push a cart through a Wal-Mart aisle.

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA
Jane Fonda's new pic Monster-In-Law is tops at the box office, proving that at 68, Jane Fonda is still #1. In related news, it was reported that her treachery and perfidy in the Viet Nam war still tops Michael Moore's in OIF by a score of 200+ tortures to 7 beheadings.

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO
Vincente Fox is spewing angry words at the US's lumbering moves towards addressing the border problem. His anger is widely believed to be caused in part over frustration in his own border-crossing attempts, ever since a gardening job has opened at the White House.


Have a nice Sunday. Point Five Out.






1 Comments:


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At 5/15/2005 04:59:00 PM, Anonymous BadLiberal ...
I must quibble with your discussion of David Chapelle as "funnyman." I can yell "Bitch!" really loud too, but strangely enough, no one has paid me $50 million for it.
 

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