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Monday, May 23, 2005

Pepsi Fights Back Accusations In Arab World

Posted by a4g @ 5/23/2005 08:17:00 AM

According to a report prepared by The Islamic Agency for Research in Egypt, millions of Arab men may be in danger of being cast into Jahannam (hell) through the innocent drinking of a popular cola.

According to a report prepared by the IARE, Pepsi-Cola contains pork products as a part of the production process. Pork and anything porcine is considered haram (forbidden) in the Muslim faith. LHM reports:

Dr. Mustofa explained that the manufacturer of the drink has included a special material made from the intestines of pigs in the process of the drink's production.

Pepsi Ingredients, clockwise from left: Miss Piggy, Piggy Bank, Pig Iron, Babe the Pig, Piggy from The Lord of the Flies

Should this information disseminate widely in the Muslim world, the effect could be devastating to the embattled PepsiCo, already smarting stateside from the swirling controversy bubbling up over anti-American remarks of PepsiCo's CFO Indra Nooyi last week.

Point Five has learned that beyond what the IARE reported, PepsiCo years ago altered their formula in the Middle East. Our confidential source, with direct access to the Pepsi formula, described the change as a direct appeal to "the well-known Muslim 'thirst for blood'." At the height of the "cola wars" of the 1980's, to gain market share over rival Coke, executives at Pepsi test-marketed a blood-altered version of their cola to enthusiastic Arab response.

Apparently deciding that including actual human blood would leave PepsiCo too vulnerable to lawsuits in the West, pig's blood was deemed to be the "most refreshing alternative." Our Point Five graphic shows the mix of porcine ingredients that go into each delicious bottle of Pepsi.

PepsiCo is also in the news in Saudi Arabia, where a woman recently discovered a human finger in her can of Pepsi. The judge in the pending lawsuit called the drink, "the single most satisfying can of Pepsi-- or of any cola-- that I have ever tasted."

However, Point Five believes that the finger in the Pepsi may be a hoax, perpetrated by the infamous Wendy's chili finger con-artist Anna Ayala, as revealed by the explosive side-by-side comparison seen below:

This dramatic transformation may be part of Anna Ayala's latest scheme. Note the stunning similarities between Ayala's mug shot and the cloaked figure.

HT: The indispensible Dymphna, who writes a real blog and is smart and intellectually intimidating and talks about important things, instead of being a bunch of goof-offs like we are here.

Thanks Mudville Gazette.


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 5/23/2005 05:45:00 PM, Blogger Dymphna ...
This is utterly wonderful. Some Muslim conspiracy theorist is gonna pick this up and run all the way thru the goal posts.

Great satire. Satire is better than reality. Doesn't suck nearly as much...

You make me nostalgic for the old Mad magazine, which the prinicipal used to call my Mother to school for when she caught me reading it. Fortunately, Mother rolled her eyes and said she read it, too.

Meanwhile..a reader sent me *the* most synchronistic link I ever got.
So pleeease do one on this...if you can.

It's an image from the Muslim Women website. Some chick's burqa got tied too tight and cut off the blood supply to her brain.

Sooo--time to do Coke, y'all:
At 5/29/2005 06:14:00 PM, Anonymous Teamsters Local 63 ...

Teamsters are on strike.

Teamsters have long memories and a longer reach for those you disobey the orders of the TEAMSTERS.

Remember Jimmy Hoffa.
At 6/02/2005 09:13:00 AM, Anonymous Patriot Xeno ...
Nice work
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