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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

In Iraq Desert, Operation "Kingdom of Heaven" A Success

Posted by a4g @ 5/17/2005 06:48:00 AM

'Insurgents' were led to believe that they would face pouty warriors in the mold of Orlando Bloom

As Operation Matador wraps up in the deep Iraqi desert, with great success having been achieved, Point Five turns its attention to the quiet war that raged not on the battlefield, but in the minds of the enemy.

Little known in the under-reported story of Operation Matador was a secondary operation, entitled Operation "Kingdom of Heaven" (OKOH), that was timed to coincide with the first. A breathtaking and bold piece of psychological warfare, OKOH called upon America's secret weapon in the War on Terror, our patriotic and willing warriors in America's other cradle of liberty: Hollywood, CA.

Actual Marines were described by captured enemies as 'less pouty than we expected.'

Years in the planning, OKOH required over a hundred million dollars and over 14,000 costumes to prepare. Deployed just before the start of Matador, OKOH depicted a Western warrior in the guise of actor Orlando Bloom, chiefly known for his appeal to pre-pubescent girls. Enemy combatants viewing this film were filled with exhuberant-- and ultimately fatal-- optimism. Reports from the battle indicate confusion and demoralization when met with the actual American soldier.

Another factor noted by Gen. Buck 'Buck' Bridges was the subtle evenhandedness of the film, treating Christians, Jews, and Muslims with equal respect and dignity, and God nothing more than a neutral party.

Bridges notes, "Fortunately, the US Marines have always found the real God to be less than neutral when the shooting starts."

As seen on TV! (and also Mudville Gazette.)


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 5/18/2005 04:22:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous ...
How dare who? This article is very racially insensitive, are you saying that only Black man are natural born killer. Should you not have included White man, Woman and Mexicans? The official US military statement is that “they are multiracial Military. They will expect anybody over the age 18. Its article is as bad as the plan I heard that was offer by Sen. Byrd, called “Operation get behind the darkies”. Maybe this site should not be link to such racially insensitive people.
At 5/18/2005 06:58:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous ...
Perhaps you need a warning on posts like this that sez,"Satire/Humor/Cynicsim follow." Otherwise the "livrals" are gonna go nuts reading what you write.
At 5/18/2005 11:54:00 PM, Blogger The Evil Emperor Mindstation ...

You give the name anonymous a bad name, but, we're pleased that we have been accused of racism for the first time. We must be doing something right when a picture of actual marine heroes can get a racially obsessed liberal into a froth.

You can only see black. We can only see courage and honor.

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