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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Conservative Blogosphere Searches for New Outrage

Posted by a4g @ 5/31/2005 07:06:00 AM

With the removal of Eason Jordan, the discrediting of Newsweek, and John Kerry signing his SF180, the conservative blogosphere finds itself adrift without a current outrage. Recent outrages have been noticeably weaker than Dan Rather's classic "attempting to throw a presidential election with phony documents": witness the Pepsico "America is the middle finger" outrage, or the "The Democrats signed the compromise but they're still filibustering Bolton" outrage (also known as the "Inouye broke the agreement on day two" outrage)

And once these paltry outrages wear out, the situation is looking even more grim for conservatives. "At this point," said one well known screenwriter/conservative blogger, "We'd be happy with something at the Gannongate level. It's that bad."

To respond to the crisis, a group of top right-wing bloggers has joined together and formed an outrage organization known as Pansy Media, with the intension of distributing and promoting new weekly outrages to inflame the conservative blogsphere. Point Five, as a charter member of the organization, was asked to do research for possible new outrages. We've sketched out a few of our ideas here. Please leave any others you have in the comments section.

NaziGate - In a recent speech, Howard Dean likened Republicans to Nazis by mentioning their opposition to the New Deal of 1933, which was the same year as the Reichstag Fire. Hannity has the tape. He'll be playing it for the next six months.

CokeGate - Coca-Cola Enterprises CFO William W. Douglas in a recent speech called America the balancing "Big Toe" of the world's foot. Most conservative commentators have agreed that the subtext is that he believes that "America stinks" and that "Americans have Athlete's Foot."

MoyersGate II - Bill Moyers, already in hot water, isn't as Christian as some conservatives think he should be. It is believed this makes him "anti-Christian," which indicates he may want Christianity outlawed in America and Christians shoved into gulags. Conservative blogs should blogswarm him into denying it.

SenateGate - Rush Limbaugh is set to reveal startling accusations against Harry Reid, Ted Kennedy, and Robert Byrd. It will be shown that these Senators are actively working against the policies of the Republican party, a policy clearly approved of by a majority of Americans in the election of George W Bush. While Rush will never actually call them traitors for actively working against the will of the American people, as anonymous citizen journalists, we certainly can.

KosGate - Somebody said something outrageous in the comments over at the Daily Kos. Something about conservatives being bad for America! That we don't know what America is really about! That we should be kicked out of the country! That Kos will let anything be said over there. It's that kind of talk that's bad for America. Those jerks don't know what America is really about. We should find the jackass that said that and kick him out of the country.

So come'on, blogosphere, let's see what ya got! We're not a bunch of dandified metrosexual Democrats. There's nothing we conservatives love more than America: and that means barbecue, NASCAR, God, and a good ol' conservative hissy fit.

Linked on Basil's Blog, Outside the Belway, Mudville Gazette.


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 5/31/2005 05:33:00 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy ...
This kind of outraged me...

Doggy Killers
At 5/31/2005 05:33:00 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy ...
Nice site, by the way.

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