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Monday, May 16, 2005

America's Six Year Olds Blast Newsweek

Posted by a4g @ 5/16/2005 10:43:00 AM

A group of angry kindergarteners gathered in Washington, D.C. today to angrily denounce the lame, pathetic attempt by Newsweek to apologize for their false story on Koran flushing, which fed anti-American riots that have claimed the lives of 15 as of this report. The kids are angry because in the "apology," Newsweek merely blames the Pentagon for their sloppy reporting, as Howard Fineman, in full CYA mode, dissembled:

If you run it pass SOUTHCOM and they say no comment, and you run the entire item past a senior person at the Pentagon, and he critiques some other part of the short item, but doesn't critique that, a reasonable reporter like Mike and John Barry, and reasonable editors like the ones at Newsweek, would think that they had it pretty solid.

Brian Welch, 6, of P.S. 132 in Baltimore, Maryland, hearing that read in class felt he had to take action. After nap time, he gathered his fellow kindergartners and convinced the bus driver to drive them to Washington.

Brian Welch stares down armed riot police in his fight to protect kid control of lame excuses.

Brian, unafraid as he stared down armed riot police, said, "If they're going to blame somebody else for their mistakes, they've got to do it right."

The kids are afraid that the absurd lameness of the Newsweek blame attempt will hurt their chances to use the very popular technique in the future. "Blaming somebody else for your transgressions belongs to us kids! Our parents are going to catch on if these idiots don't get it right. Couldn't Fineman just said his big sister did it? Or it was 'like that when he found it'? Those are classics. I mean-- the Pentagon did it? What's wrong with this doodyhead?"

The kids are going to post their demands on a new website, which will be online after they can give Brian's dad the change they put together from their piggy banks. They are demanding a real adult apology, an end to that stupid 'Conventional Wisdom' column, and a three page feature article on Ms. Winston, their "very pretty" kindergarten teacher.

**UPDATE:** Newsweek has retracted the story. Unfortunately, Brian Welch was already tucked in when we called him for comment. His father, however, called us pervert freaks and told us to get the hell away from his son, and to never call again.

More as circumstances warrant.

Linked on Mudville Gazette, Wizbang.


Comments are open and unmoderated.
Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 5/16/2005 01:51:00 PM, Blogger Pam ...
At 5/16/2005 02:53:00 PM, Anonymous GOPLover ...
I wish this kid had Bill Frist's job.
At 5/16/2005 02:54:00 PM, Anonymous ConservaGirl ...
I wish this kid had Howard Fineman's job.
At 5/17/2005 04:56:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous ...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 5/17/2005 04:57:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous ...
This is a prefect example of why children should be home school. Children from the public school have to much free time on there hands. Their teachers are teaching them their liberal points of view, on how to challenge the government and most thing conservative. Most home schooler are out working to get the funding to keep their schools open for example sell lemonade or have a paper route at home they are learning about this great country we live or reading write and arithmetic taught the tune of a hickory stick.

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