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Saturday, May 07, 2005

Activists Prepare March To Protest Mother's Day

Posted by a4g @ 5/07/2005 07:20:00 PM

Gay activists are preparing to assemble in Washington for a "Million Manicure March" in protest of Mother's Day.

"It's time to stop this homophobic hate-fest masquerading as a holiday," says Wade Springler, an organizer of the event. Referring to America as a "heteronormative fascistic police state," Mr. Springler believes that the concept of Mother's Day, "ignores, denies, and denigrates the 85% of American households that our research shows are populated by same-sex couples. In ancient Greece, homosexuality was considered normal and healthy."

Mr. Springler's group, Americans Against Americans Against Other Americans, will join with 37 other gay rights groups at the Washington mall, calling for the abolishment of Mother's Day.

"A young person growing up healthily in an alternative family household is going to ask questions, like 'Daddy, why don't you and Daddy give me a Mommy.' Gay couples are offended that we have to answer these kind of personal and intimate questions to our children. Why do straights have to push their sexuality in our faces? Exactly how are we supposed to tell our three year old daughters what so-called straights do with each other when the lights are out? After all, in ancient Greece, homosexuality was considered healthy and normal."

Larry Weener, who traveled with his partner Lance by touring bike from Utah to attend the march, is excited. "Can you smell the change in the air?" he asks, beaming from ear to ear. Larry owns a niche business in Provo that manufactures what he describes as "a post-coital cleansing device," called the Weener Kleener. "Did you know that in ancient Greece, homosexuality was considered healthy and normal?"

Speakers expected to attend the march include Barney Frank, Rosie O'Donnell, and that guy on the Sears commercials that's on some decorating show on HGTV.


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At 5/09/2005 09:06:00 PM, Anonymous Casey Tompkins ...
re: "heteronormative fascistic police state"

You forgot "theocratic" in there... :)

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