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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I'm Choking!

Posted by a4g @ 4/19/2005 07:00:00 PM

I was going to post of the election of Benedict XVI, but I was balancing my laptop in my lap and trying to eat dinner at the same time, and I seem to have gotten a piece of steak caught in my throat. I currently am not breathing, and would appreciate some suggestions on the best way to clear the obstruction. Feel free to leave comments.



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Abusive, hateful or irresponsible comments were probably posted by one of the contributors.
At 4/19/2005 07:03:00 PM, Anonymous Dr. Hibbard ...
Eat more steak.

Starve a fever, feed a choking.
At 4/19/2005 07:05:00 PM, Anonymous Gastroux ...
No, don't eat more. Drink.

Wine would be nice. I like a Chateneuf-du-Pape with steak. Not everyone's first choice, but try it, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
At 4/19/2005 07:07:00 PM, Anonymous MarineSgt ...
The best thing for choking is protein. Build good throat muscles and you can expel the steak with a good Hoo-aah!
At 4/19/2005 07:09:00 PM, Anonymous alienware ...
Press Ctl-Alt-Del. This will bring up your task manager. Select the process "Choking" and then press "End Process" This works every time.
At 4/19/2005 07:10:00 PM, Anonymous LouisP ...
I like the Heimlich maneuver myself. Notice the spelling, its HEIMLICH, not HIND LICK. Knowing this distinction will save you a whole lotta embarrassment.

Trust me.
At 4/19/2005 07:11:00 PM, Blogger a4g ...
None of this is working. I'm starting to see things.
At 4/19/2005 07:14:00 PM, Anonymous Leftanardodavinci ...
Oh, sure, a4g, we're supposed to feel sorry for you, but meanwhile the ILLEGAL war for oil that YOU SUPPORTED killed over 100,000 Iraqi CIVILIANS.

I hope you choke to death on your death steak, pig!
At 4/19/2005 07:17:00 PM, Anonymous yourwife ...
The best way to avoid choking is to fletcherize your food, which means to chew it really thoroughly. You are too damn fat, a4g.
At 4/19/2005 07:18:00 PM, Blogger a4g ...
Okay, everyone, I'm fine. The steak became dislodged before I blacked out, and I'm feeling great. Thanks for all your help.

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