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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Group Seeks to Heal Divisions Among Catholics

Posted by a4g @ 4/19/2005 09:45:00 PM

A new group called Moderate Catholics for Healing has formally offered Benedict XVI assistance in reaching out to liberal Catholics. The group, which seeks to mend strong divisions among so-called 'liberal' and 'conservative' Catholics, has released a number of compromises it feels will allow all Catholics to co-exist peacefully under the Papacy of Benedict XVI.

Some of the solutions proffered:
  • On women priests-- forbidden, except for the unpopular weekday masses or churches in poor dioceses where the donations are slow
  • On a married clergy -- never, unless she's a really nice girl and a little on the dowdy side
  • On abortion -- how about a fetus is worth 3/5 of a person? There's a compromise we ought to be able to live with.
  • On birth control -- artificial contraception is never permitted, unless the woman is ovulating or doesn't want a baby
For ecumenism with other churches:
  • On papal infallibility -- infallibility is redefined as really, really, really, really recommended
  • On the filoque -- how about the filove?
A spokesman for MCH said, "If we can bring together all Catholics, all Christians, all people of all faiths around the world, we can get down to the real business of providing universal health care to all Americans."


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